Pete's* Trouble

Pete, a friend of mine who's name has been changed to protect his identity, recently fathered a baby boy. I wish it were a more happy occasion, but given his stage in life, and his ability to keep a steady job, I'd say that Pete will have a difficult time, since he has chosen to keep the baby. In this particular situation, I'm not so sure how happy I am about Pete's decision. Pete is currently living at his mother's house with his siblings and the mother of his child, Cindy (name also changed). But I don't really want to talk about the particulars of his current situation—rather I want to go back, oh, ten months and talk about the particulars of that situation.

From what I've been told, Pete and Cindy met on an online RPG community. I'm guessing that they both role-played together, and they must have talked and planned about future interactions. Slowly, they moved from online messaging to phone conversations, and I'm told that Pete did not like Cindy all that much. He also did not like Cindy when he visited her in real life (he apparently was visiting the nearby area, and she insisted). However, after being challenged to a drinking contest, Pete slept with her (I have no idea if Cindy had imbibed any alcohol). To me, this sounds like a perfect example of a hook-up. Pete had no interest in Cindy, but after some drinking slept with her with no intention of a relationship forming. Pete vehemently disagrees with me on this subject, but he still dosen't like Cindy after living with her for almost a year, and has had to repeatedly tell her that he has no interest in forming a relationship with her.

One last thing that I found interesting about Pete's situation, is that Pete's decision of whether to keep the baby or to put it up for adoption depended entirely on whether the kid was biologically his. Now, you might be wondering—but wait, it's more Cindy's decision, right? Well, if the baby was Pete's he wanted joint custody, but mostly with him. If it wasn't, Pete wanted to ensure that Cindy wasn't the main caregiver because he thought, still thinks really, that Cindy was not cut out to be a mother (this sounds harsh, but Pete's got a good heart and honest concern for the baby). It turns out that the baby is Pete's, so the joint-custody plan is in action.

Why am I talking about this? Well, I wanted to use this as an example of how some people can be hurt/can't handle the hook-up culture. Pete might be able to handle the part that involves adult-type touching. However, he's having a difficult time with the potential side effects like babies. Cindy, on the other hand, seems to think that baby=marriage—or rather hook-up=relationship, which is not the case. Both of them have the potential, if they aren't already, to be very badly hurt by a night of alcohol, sex that for at least one of them held no particular significance, and faulty contraceptives. So, I'd guess I'd have to say that this is a beautiful example why I'm against the hook-up culture as a whole: it can work for some people, but I doubt that the majority of the current population, especially with our culture, can handle meaningless sex.

Also, I'm very angry that Pete was only interested in keeping the kid if it was biologically his. In my opinion, you can't go halfsies with this sort of thing: either you can care for the kid, or you can't.

Kit

Please comment, but remember to be respectful.

" Hooking up"

So what do you think " Hooking up" means??

Lately I have been studying what the phrase " hooking up" means , and have found that there is no actual definition that is used by all. For some it means having sex , for others it means merely kissing. Knowing this , what does it tell you about our generation? Are we floozy? Are girls promiscious? Are guys purley sexual beings, that carry no emotion.

I think the word carries so many different stigmas , and it becomes the reason why the phrase is thrown around so frequently. Our generation is portrayed as careless, and based on how we use the "hooking up"phrase i would agree.


What do you all think. What you think the phrase " hooking up" means? Does it give our generation a bad repuatation?

Let me know what you all think???

Twilight Rant Part 2

So the movie New Moon came out this weekend. I have yet to see it, but given my misgivings with the first movie (mainly the pacing and plot) I'm not sure I will. However, I remember some aspects of the book vividly. For example the three pages that are blank save for the name of the month. Given it's first person perspective the audience came to the conclusion that nothing happened in Bella's life worth mentioning during that time. Those three months were also conspicuously free of Edward. Who left Bella so he wouldn't accidentally kill her. Yes, heartbreak sucks, and depression is unfortunately common. But suicide attempts? That's just unhealthy. I know that Bella represents that teenage angst that is so prevalent, but given that suicide is the main killer of the teenage population, I'm not sure if her experience was told in the best way. Well, actually, that doesn't bother me so much as the people who believe suicide attempts are romantic. Speaking as someone who had to talk with her sixteen year old sister about the boy in her class who shot himself, I don't think that suicide should ever be taken lightly, or seen as romantic.

On a note that is not as remotely serious as the one mentioned before, did anyone else notice the emphasized Judeo-Christian religion references regarding sexuality? I, for one, do not quite believe that a seventeen year old boy who's been seventeen for heaven knows how long would still be a virgin. Not only a virgin, but vehemently against pre-marital sex. I mean, really? Think about the double standard that says that girls have to be virgins before marriage, but boys need time to “settle down.” Saying that values were more pure the further you go back in time, just remember Greco-Roman society, or remember that prostitution was at an all-time high in the Victorian era. I know that vampires might have some difficulty in not killing their partners during/before/after having sex, but I would think that a boy like Edward would be a bit more worldly before he was shifted into one of the undead. Or that he couldn't find an appropriate vampire to have sex with, or eaten his fill before seducing a human.

Sorry about the wait and bi-polar feeling to today's rant. I'll get better about it, I promise.

Please comment, but, as always, be respectful.

Kit

Yet another Twilight rant!

Let's face it: this Twilight craze is absolute impossible to ignore. It's everywhere! So let's talk about it like adults.

I actually went to see the newest installment of the movies, New Moon. Now I have to give credit where it's due because, as a movie, it was entertaining. But I do have a large bone to pick with this movie.

WHY WERE TAYLOR LAUTNER AND ROBERT PATTINSON SHIRTLESS JUST ABOUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE?

I mean, really. I've read the book and I know that the wolves tend to be shirtless because of the transition they make from human to wolf, but in one particular scene it made no sense to see and under-aged boy remove his shirt. In this scene Bella (played by Kristen Stewart) falls off of a motorbike and hits her head on a rock. In response to her bleeding head, Jacob (played by Taylor Lautner) removes his entire shirt to wipe the blood away from her head. Women of all ages in the theatre wolf-whistled, screamed, and "chowed!" at the boy's gesture. All I could think though was if this situation were different- if men in the theatre decided to make the same noises at a woman on screen, these women would probably freak out or be offended.

Anyway, I just wanted to see what everyone thinks about the shirt-less marketing that's made this movie more of a success than it should have been. Not only that, but do you think the women and girls who go see this movie, excited to see these half naked boys are objectifying men in the same way women have been objectified in the past? Let me know what you think! I'm dying to hear more opinions on this!

Porn..

Recently I have been talking about the use of porn and whether or not its considered a gender neutral activity. What i have found is that porn is socially acceptable in men and teen males lives, but NOT acceptable if you're a woman. Why is that? Why is this activity so gender stereotypical?

As I was reading some articles, I noticed they compared males and porn, to females and erotic novels. Are they the same? I don't think so. Women are known for associating love with sex , whereas men can have emotionless sex, where sex is purely just sex. So knowing that, do these comparisons work?

Another big conversation point that needs to be addressed with Porn, is its use as a tool of education for male teens. Essentially, porn in where these young males learn about sex , and how to " preform" it. What does that say about our society and culture? What does it say about our sexual education programs? Do they work? Obviously not, if these males teens are resorting to porn for their main source of education.

Then there is the idea that its socially unacceptable for women to seek pleasure from porn. Why is that? Why is it such a taboo for women to watch porn. But its expected of men to watch it. As our culture moves closer to gender equality , you would imagine that the use of porn would turn into a gender neutral activity. Yet, its still an activity that is deemed unacceptable. How can we change this??

I'm curious to know what you guys think about this issue. Please if you have something to say respond!

AA

A Review of The Ugly Truth

Okay, so I know it's supposed to be a comedy, but The Ugly Truth really bothered me, specifically my feminist sensibilities. Does anyone else think that it's belittling to both men and women to hold the opinion that men 'only want one thing' and that they have to do that one thing with a woman that they find attractive? That's like saying that men are not capable of emotions other than lust, and that women should just accept it and expect it because thats how the world works. Even assuming that everyone is heterosexual, those assumptions are still not anything to be happy about.

Since I've seen the end of the movie, I know that it turns out that Mike Chadaway (played by Gerard Butler) really just held these opinions because he'd been hurt so many times. But it still bothers me.

Moving on, was I the only one who was thinking that Abby Richter (played by Katherine Heigl) was handling Mike in a way that would only perpetuate itself? I was sitting there thinking “Don't react! That's exactly what he wants you to do, so don't give it to him!” I was also thinking there must be a variety of ways to deal with people like Mike. Any suggestions? Please share!

Kit.

So I thought I would take a step away from Disney for a moment to talk about this Twilight business.

You see, I am a tutor during the week and during one of my sessions last week, a girl asked me to help her write an essay. She wanted to compare Edward Cullen to Odysseus as a hero. The girl absolutely adored Edward Cullen and my attempts to get her to see that he was a little over the top with his "protection" and "love" for Bella were futile. This bothered my immensely.

I was willing to find a compromise with this girl, a freshman in high school, and admit that in the movie Edward does, in a sense, "protect" Bella. He does save her from potentially being assaulted as well as being mauled by other vampires but the girl and I hit a road block when I brought up another point; Edward is constantly putting Bella in danger.

I wanted so badly to explain to this girl that the fictional character she holds in such high esteems is actually really creepy and not the kind of guy she should be looking for. Yes, he loves Bella. Yes, he saves her. But really? He's actually responsible for a lot of the danger she ends up in.

This got me wondering; does anyone else feel that this movie has the potential to push girls in a harmful direction in regards to their relationships? Should we be worried that boys might even start to feel like they need to adopt a Cullen or Black-like way of approaching girls?

Let me know what you think.

-Stephanie Kate

Tv and Adult-Child Sex

Alright, so recently I read an article called " the social control of Adult-child sex", that focused on sex crimes related to children. It talked about the creation of " Megan's Law", which calls for local authorities to notify residents whenever a registered sex offender moves into a community, and the responses that come from the community towards the sex offender. But I felt a little torn after reading this article, so I looked at list of things that can register you as sex offender. There were two that I found extreemly surprising.
1. " Sexting"
2. Public Indecency

First off, I had a problem with sexting being on this list. Especially after finding an article on a flordia teen who had recieved and then responded to a nude picture sent by his girlfreind of almost three years. Now,you can find his name next to registered sex offenders in flordia who have raped or molested kids, becuase he was " sexting" with his girlfriend. This seems a little extreeme.Our society today forgets that teens and chidlren are curious sexual beings, who, yes are allowed to have sexual feelings. I think because our generation and older generations are so old fashioned when it comes to sex, we in away create this problem, which all relates back to how we educated our kids and teens when it comes to sex. All in all, there needs to be a way to regulate this " sexting" law , that considers allowing teens to sexual communiate via text, within their " age" bracket.

Now , on too public indeceny. Who knew that peeing in public could land you on a sex offender list. I sure didnt.I think this is pretty crazy. Being a college student, there have been many times where I was walking home from a party and had to go to the bathroom. So I went around a corner or behind a tree and releived myself. I knew that if I was ever to get caught by a police officer I would probably recieve some sort of misdemeanor, but I would never think that this would qualify me a sex offender! There needs to be more of a description behind this public indecency law that explains how peeing in public makes you a sex offender. It doesnt seem to make much sense.

There seems to be some potential issues with this sex offender list. The reason I was a little torn on " Megan's Law" is if communities are notified when sex offenders move into an area, and then they dont know what they are registerd for , these so called " offenders" are at risk of recieving a lot of harrasment wether it be phyical or verbal. Dont get me wrong, adults who rape and molest kids deserve to be on this list, but a teen who sends a text message to his girlfriend in regards to sex, doesnt. That is why this list needs to be regulated more carefully.

Let me know what you guys think?
AA